These razors ain't your roses
by webreakdancenothearts
Summary: Shaun is a teenaged bisexual boy, with no friends, a troubled life, and a passion for music. He meets the popular and gay boy Andy Clemmensen, and they fall for each other, hard. SLASH INCLUDED.
1. Chapter 1

~Shaun's P.O.V ~

_Diiiiing._

Ah, there goes that sound I hate most in my weekdays. The bell. At least in class, I could focus on my work without looking like a friendless loser. Not that it matters, people already know I have no friends due to me walking around alone at lunchtimes. I sighed, picked up my books, and pushed numbly through the crowds of children, being pushed a few times. I didn't really notice, as I was too used to it. Someone even threw a pen or something at my head, but I just walked on like nothing happened. I stumbled to my locker, and put my books away then walked quietly but quickly outside with my lunch, trying not to attract any attention.  
>I got outside successfully, where I could just find somewhere and sit quietly with my iPod until the bell goes for classes to start again.<p>

I wandered around in the sunlight in the schoolyard. It was quiet, as the rest of the kids were at the cafeteria buying their lunches and eating. I couldn't afford bought lunch, my mother was dead and my father couldn't afford it. He was a plumber, and he didn't get payed much. He wasn't ever home much either, I didn't see him until nights, I guess I was used to being home alone by now. But he did try to make me happy, he really did. But it was hard, and he was just too busy trying to feed us and pay the house off at the same time. He really does try his best, I just wished my mother was alive. Everything was fine until that stupid fucking man sold her the wrong fucking medication early last year. I will never forgive that doctor for doing that. My mother was the best woman in the world. She used to clean houses for a living, and every night she'd sing me to sleep. She had the voice of an angel, and it always made my nights better. She was the light of my world. She accepted my sexuality (I'm bisexual.)  
>She was there for me when nobody wanted to play with me as a child, and when I got into fights, she cleaned me up and said 'toughen up little soldier, one day you'll tower them all.'<p>

I didn't realise tears were flooding down my cheeks until a boy walked past and stared at me. I tried to look away and hoped he would keep walking, but instead he stopped and started to walk over to me. I cursed under my breath and wiped my cheeks hurriedly, waiting for him to hurry the fuck up and leave.  
>'Hey... are you okay?' he said, awkwardly approaching me, and his dark golden hair blowing in the breeze. He was good looking, and he was wearing sunglasses that all the jocks and popular people wore.<br>'Yeah… I'm fine' I mumbled back unintelligently, as he helped me to my feet. He kept his hand on mine for a few seconds, then let go.  
>'You sure?' he said back worriedly. I was confused. Normally either people ignored me, or teased me. Nobody ever actually spoke to me kindly, or cared for me. Well, a few random people do but it never happens often.<br>'Yeah,' I flashed him a quick smile and he grinned back cutely, his teeth glowing brightly in the sunlight. He was so damn cute.  
>'Alrighty.' He smiled at me and took off his sunglasses.<br>'I'm Andrew, you can call me Andy if you want.' He introduced himself. His name was familiar but I couldn't think of where it was from.  
>'I'm Sh-Shaun.' I mumbled back and shook his outstretched hand.<br>'So Shaun..what classes are you in?' he asked me, and I died a little inside when he said my name. I realised we had starting walking through the empty schoolyard, towards the building.  
>'Umm I have a free period.' I answered quickly, and looked at him.<br>'Hey me too, maybe we can spend It together and get to know each other?' he suggested hopefully, his eyes shining brightly. I blushed, and felt a tinge of happiness inside, for the first time in ages.  
>'That would be nice.' I grinned, and he grinned back, his perfect teeth gleaming in the sunlight.<br>'I know a great place, it's beautiful and peaceful, and I think you'd love it.' He said, pulling me along by the arm. I followed him eagerly, dazed by his perfectness, and I just couldn't wait to get to know him more.


	2. Chapter 2

~Andy's P.O.V~

I pulled him along, not completely sure what I was doing. I just saw him all broken down and crumpled, and I just had to help him.. he was so beautiful, I couldn't leave something so perfect in pain like that. I tried to keep smiling and looking happy, hoping to cheer him up and lighten his mood. He looked so afraid of me, it was strange. I just wanted to comfort him, to kiss his pretty little face better, to cuddle him in my arms and never let go.. ah there goes the homosexual side in me again. Yep, I might be school jock, but that doesn't change the fact that I like boys. Sure, everyone knew, and i'm so surprised that people still accepted me, but I was really sick of girls trying to make me straight. Just...no. I like guys, not girls, okay.  
>I snapped out of my thoughts, realizing I was still pulling him along , and slid my hand from his arm to his hand, and held it gently, looking straight ahead. I knew he was probably straight, but that didn't stop me. I like this boy, and I wanted to enjoy myself with this boy. I guess I'm a little too used to getting what I want, I just hoped he was gay or something, or bisexual at least. I felt his hand tighten against mine, then it loosened, and we were walking side by side, hand in hand. I glanced up quickly, and he was already looking at me. I grinned and he smiled back shyly. Oh, he was so cute. I wanted to ask about his sexuality, because he still hadn't pulled his hand away. I hope he liked me, I really did. It was weird how much I liked this boy, and I only just met him. I wanted to cure him, and make him feel happy, and safe. I never wanted him upset again. I just.. I couldnt explain it if someone asked me to, I couldnt even explain it to myself.<p>

I heard him clear his throat and snapped back to reality again, looking over at him. We stopped in a park and sat down at a bench.  
>He smiled, and I smiled back, as he started to speak.<br>'Uh, Andrew?' he began.

'Yeah?' I answered cautiously, wondering what he was gonna say.  
>'Um don't be offended or anything if you're not, I mean like, because you grabbed my hand and all I j-just um, please don't get angry if you're not b-because-'<br>'I won't, just say what you wanted to say.' I cut him off and laughed, hoping he'd ask about my sexuality. I didnt wanna seem rude for asking first, and I sensed he felt the same way, but I guess curiosity got the best of him.  
>'A-are you gay?' he blurted out, instantly covering his mouth. My smile faltered a bit, his actions made me sense he wasn't gay.<br>'Y-yeah...'  
>'Oh.' everything went silent for a second, then I spoke up.<br>'Are you?' I said quietly, breaking the silence. He looked down, then looked up with a tiny smile on his face. I frowned, confused. He laughed and I raised my eyebrows.  
>'What's so funny? Are you gay or what?' I said, starting to get annoyed. He leaned forward and closed his eyes, pressing his lips on mine gently. I lowered my eyes and kissed him back, enjoying every moment. He pulled away and smiled, I'd never seen him so confident. I'd seen him round the school a bit, bit he always looked moody and stressed, and I never really payed attention to him until now. I'd never actually seen his face fully until today.<br>'Does that answer your question?' he said and chuckled slightly, and stood up and starting walking away. I think he wanted me to follow, so I got up and walked after him.  
>'Wait, so you are gay?' I said confused, hurrying to catch up.<br>'Bisexual.' He answered carelessly, kicking pebbles along. I purposely brushed my hand along his and he smiled and grabbed my hand, wrapping his fingers around mine.  
>'Oh okay.' I answered, and we were quiet again, as I got lost in my thoughts again.<br>'So..' I started again, trying to make conversation.  
>'Haha so..' he answered back awkwardly, looking down.<br>'Where abouts are you from?' I asked cheerfully, trying to gather as much info as I could about him, but at the same time trying not to sound nosy.  
>'Ah... Westfield..you?' he answered, and looked down shamefully. Westfield was a shady area, where a lot of poverted people lived. I didn't really wanna reply back, because my family was rich and lived north of town, where all the fancy houses and mansions were.<br>'Um. B-baker street.' I mumbled, trying not to sound rich or important. He looked up with a look of insecurity and looked down again. I looked down embarrassed.  
>'Oh yeah.. out North right?' he answered bitterly, and his eyes dampened slightly.<br>'Mhm.' I mumbled. I didnt want to sound the slightest bit superior to him. He glanced at his phone for the time, and looked up, but didnt look me in the eyes.  
>'I gotta go, dinner's gonna be ready soon.' he said, still not looking directly at me. His phone slipped from his hand, and I automatically bent down to pick it up. I quickly got into his phonebook, and put my number in there and passed it back to him. He gave me a funny look and put it in his pocket. We faced each other awkwardly, so I leaned in and hugged him.<br>'See you around sometime, yeah?' I said, trying to sound cheerful.  
>'Kay.' he said, pulling away. He started to walk away as it began to rain, so I sighed and sat down on the bench again , watching his silhouette walk away until I couldnt see him anymore through the thick raindrops that clouded my vision. He was a strange boy, but a strange boy that I just happened to have a tiny crush on.<p>


	3. Chapter 3

~Shaun's P.O.V~

'So...' I tried to strike up conversation, but I knew we were both too lost in our thoughts from this newly found information. I can't believe I had found, and kissed another gay guy, it was so... unnatural. I didnt expect to find anyone interested in me, I thought I'd be forever alone or something. But I'm happy it was a guy... I'm bi, but I prefer guys over girls.. I think I'm gay...I don't know, I guess i'm just young and confused with my sexuality. But I know I'm attracted to boys.  
>'Hahah so..' I snapped out of my thoughts as he laughed, then he looked down. There was an awkward atmosphere in the air, it was frustrating me.<br>'Where abouts you from?' he asked, with a curious look in his eye. I instantly felt like shit, and my smile faltered.  
>'Ah um.. Westfield...you?' I muttered ashamed, and didn't look him in the eyes. I didn't want him to think any less of me, not as soon as I finally had a chance with him. I was hoping he'd never ask that question, but at the same time I knew it'd happen sooner or later. I lived in the poor side of town, where you'd most likely get stabbed for walking the streets in the AM's.<br>'B-baker street.' he muttered, somewhat ashamed. Baker street was filled with like, mansions and shit. Why would he be ashamed, he has money, a big house, and everything he could want.  
>'Oh yeah, out North, right?' I said, trying to hide the bitterness in my voice, but it still managed to escape like hounds from their leashes late at night. He mumbled something back in agreement, I wasnt really listening, I was more trying to hold back tears then anything. I needed to get out of here before the tears spilled over and I made myself out to be an even bigger fool. I glanced at my phone quickly, and checked the time. It was a fair while til dinner, at least 3 hours or more. Dad always came home late from overtime, and I was made to either wait or fend for myself.<br>'I gotta go, dinner's gonna be ready soon.' I said, lying through my teeth. I tried to hold back the guiltiness, and my phone slipped out of my hand because I was sweating so much. He leaned over and picked it up before I even realised I had dropped it. He finished texting something into it, probably 'I'm gay' or something to all my phonebook contacts. He'd probably made up the whole gay story just to make me look like a fool so he could brag to his friends or something. That's all people do to me, try and embarrass and humiliate me, especially the high-school jocks. Thank god I'm out of here next year, once school finishes this year I'm moving far away and starting new. I snatched my phone back and put it in my pocket and straightened up to find him standing in front of me. It was awkward.  
>'See you around sometime soon, yeah?' he asked, and leaned in and wrapped his arms around me. I was surprised.. maybe he genuinely did care about me. Maybe this wasn't all a scam. It might be all part of the act though. I pulled out of his embrace and mumbled back a low 'mhm', just in case this was all a joke. I walked off as tears began to threaten to spill over again, and it started to rain. Ah, rain. I love rain. Now I can cry without seeming weird, it'll just be another pool of water, after all. Blended with the rain.<p>

I didn't look back at him, chances are he'd already left anyway. I got to my house, which was up the road, and I turned around. Something caught my eye. He was standing where I left him, with his head in his hand, drenched in rain. I felt so ashamed, but I still continued up the road to my house, and opened my door, welcomed by the silence and coldness of the home, and felt loneliness fill me once more.

Well. So much for getting to know him more, I practically ran out on him. I guess things just got too heavy for me to handle. I was really touchy about these things, like where I live, it reminds me of my family and how I can't be like other normal kids. I hate it. I glanced down at my phone again to text my father, I wanted him to hurry home if he could, it was starting to storm a bit and I didn't want him driving him in bad weather. I saw a number at the top of my phonebook that I didn't recognize. The name above it said 'Andrew Clemmensen x'. I paused, and smiled to myself. Maybe this really wasn't a joke...maybe, just maybe, this boy did like me back. I texted a quick message to Dad, then looked at Andy's number for a few more seconds. I sighed, and quickly sent him a message.. just one message; _'Hey... x' ,_ before I started drifting into a deep sleep on our old, worn out couch.  
><em><br>_


	4. Chapter 4

~Andy's P.O.V~

I finally decided to walk home, it had to be about 7PM or something. I'd been on the park bench in the rain for about an hour alone, I had fallen asleep at one point, waking up as the sun was setting, in drenched clothes. I shivered as I opened my front door, and headed straight into the shower. After I had gotten out and chucked on a pair of old skinny jeans, I walked to the kitchen where my mother was standing.  
>'Where have you been all afternoon honey?' she asked, packing some plates into the dishwasher.<br>'Ah. Just with a friend.' I replied, trying to sound cheerful.  
>'Who's your friend? Jay?' she asked, naming her friend's sons name.<br>'Nah, a new friend. New kid.' I said back, and started playing with my hands.  
>'Oh, what's his name?' she asked, smiling.<br>'Shaun.'  
>'Is he nice? Is he cute?' she said back, grinning. I love my Mum, she accepted my sexuality, and always accepted me for who I was.<br>'Yeah he's nice, and well, he's not cute, he's fucking stunning. I kinda like him.. a lot.' I smiled back and looked embarrassed.'  
>'Aw! You'll have to introduce me sometime!' she said back, in a cheerful tone.<br>'Mmhm' I mumbled back, trying to sound happy.  
>'What's wrong? Oh, is he straight?' she said, putting her hand on my shoulder.<br>'No, he's actually bisexual..it's just.. I'm not sure how things ended with him and I.' I said back, looking down.  
>'Aww. Well if it's meant to be, it'll sort out eventually.' she said wisely, drying her hands on a towel. I smiled back, and felt my phone buzz in my pocket, indicating a text message. God, if it's that Tia chick asking for a date again, I might just go crazy. She cannot seem to accept the fact I'm gay, it's so annoying. I'm almost ready to block her from all social networking sites and communication altogether. I just want to erase her whole existence, or something. I sighed and checked my messages. There was a number in there, that I recognized from somewhere. I closed my eyes, trying to remember. My head snapped up as I realised it was Shaun's number, I had seen it in his phone. I quickly opened the message, hoping to see something good.<br>'_Hey... x' _was all it said. I got really excited reading it. He sent me an 'x' ...does he like me? What does this mean? He wants to talk to me, does that mean he's interested? It does, doesn't it?  
>'<em>Hey! :D xx<em>' I clicked send, and instantly started worrying. What if I sounded too keen or something? I pressed my palm to my face. I really hope he doesnt think I'm desperate or something, oh god.  
>'Hun, come have some dinner, you came home late. It's on the table.' Mum called from the next room, and I walked in there casually, even though my cheeks were probably flushed with excitement or something. I took my phone, hoping for a text back from Shaun.<p>

I didn't get one until midnight that night, I was studying for my Math exam on Monday. I only had this weekend to study, and my marks at school are really low and Mum said if I didn't pick them up, she'd stop giving me pocket money. Well, I instantly ditched studying for my phone. I'd rather have a texting session with this really amazing guy then figure out what pie equals, anyway. Thank god I'm out of school next year, I hate it there.  
><em>'What's up. xx' <em>he had texted back, still sending x's. I smiled to myself, and texted '_studing..you? xx'.  
><em>Something didn't look quite right, probably the spelling or something, but I couldn't figure it out so I just clicked send and waited. My phone buzzed a few seconds later. Wow, he was a quick at replying...or maybe he was just interested, like myself.  
>'<em>Oh yeah...I'm studying too. xx' <em>Ahh, so it was the spelling. I hope he thinks I'm not stupid or something.. I'm actually pretty smart.. I just don't know how to spell, if that makes sense.  
>'<em>so i see u saw my number and yea xx'<em> I couldnt really bother with spelling, he can understand it so eh.  
><em>'Yeah.. :) xx' <em>Well, obviously he saw my number, I kinda typed it in so he would. I felt so stupid at the moment._  
><em>'_obv..ahhaha derp xx'_ I tried to make it out into a joke, but I was actually face palming myself again.  
>'<em>Hahaha cute xx'<em> he texted back, and I smiled.  
><em>'your cute..really cute :) xx' <em>My hopeless attempt at a compliment._  
><em>'_Aw. xx' _I sighed and decided to just invite him over._  
><em>_'hey i was wondering if you wanted to come over tmrw or something? you know cos its the weekend & yeah?x' _God, I hope I didnt sound _too_ keen or something.  
>'<em>Really..? :) xx'<br>__'yeaah :D xx'_  
>'<em>I'd love to come over.. :) x'<em> I smiled and fist pumped hopefully. Yes! He was coming over!  
>'<em>its a date :D x'<em> I really wanted it to be a date. I thought maybe if I said that, it would be.  
><em>'Hahah cute. Well I need sleep, what time should I come over x' <em>he'd look so angelic sleeping.  
>'<em>is 9AM too early? we could chill all arvo :) x'<em> I really hoped we would.  
>'<em>Sounds great, I'll txt you in the morning. Goodnight Andy, sweetest dreams :D xxx '<br>_'_u too xxx sleep well '  
><em>I waited about 10 more minutes after that, but I didnt get any more replies, so I decided he had probably gone to bed. I should probably do the same.  
>'Mum, Shaun's coming over tomorrow..' I said, smiling slightly.<br>'Oh, you sorted things out?' she said, grinning.  
>'I guess. I dunno what exactly is happening..but he's coming over.' I said in a happy voice.<br>'Is that your boyfriend?' Dad said, in a neutral kind of voice. Dad wasnt really homophobic, he'd just rather me dating a girl or something like that.  
>'He's not my boyfriend! I do like him though..' I admitted.<br>'Ah. Well, best of luck. And whatever you do, please do it in your bedroom.' Dad said, smiling a bit. I groaned and quickly said goodnight to both my parents, who were half asleep already.

I went to bed that night in high spirits and best mood, eager for the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

~Shaun's P.O.V~

I was beaming after mine and Andy's little text session, absolutely ecstatic. I was so so happy, I never actually remembered a night when I'd smiled this much. Sure, sometimes I'd smile to Dad so he wouldn't worry about me, so he'd believe that those marks on my arms were from a cat, and not a razor. Andrew was so so cute, with his little spelling errors and x's and ah. I just couldn't believe my luck.  
>I walked into the kitchen in high spirits, to say goodnight to Dad. Instead I found him at the table drunk, 'reading' a news paper. He looked up and I could smell the alcohol from across the room.<br>'Dad, have you been drinking..?' I asked cautiously, even though it was obvious he had been.  
>'Nah boy, come give me a huh hug!' he said, standing up and stumbling over to me. I dodged him quickly, afraid of what would happen. Dad hadn't been drunk for ages, a councilor had stopped his alcohol addiction that seemed to make him aggressive and grumpy all the time. He used to abuse me, and I still had scars from when he'd hit me and scratch my skin with the fire poker. That was straight after Mum's death, I guess he couldn't cope, but they were the worst weeks of my life. I was so scared he'd go back to them days. And now he's drinking again, I knew something bad would happen.<br>'Why the fuck won't you give ya dad a fuckin hug you snobby no good ungreatful little cunt!' he swore, and started towards me again, this time more viciously. My eyes widened, I hadnt seen him like this for ages. The hard cold look was back in his eyes, not the warm, tired old man that had been there just hours before.  
>'D-dad you're drunk, sit down.' I stuttered, stumbling away.<br>'You're a cunt! C-U-N-T. Faggot! Noone loves you you little cunt, you were a fucking accident and you're the reason your mother is d-dead!' he slurred, throwing his fist towards my jaw. I'd learn to take the pain, not to fight back even if he was wrong, it'd just make things worse. The force of the punch had thrown me back against the wall, I groaned and slid halfway to the ground.  
>'Stand the fuck up and fight me faggot! Or do gay boys not know how to fight!' he said, taking another swing, this time landing it right in my gut. I almost threw and fell to the floor in pain, it was unbearable. I moaned and rolled into a ball, ready for the next blow.<br>'Ungrateful. Little. Faggot. Cunt.' he said each word in between kicks to my gut, being rolled into a ball reduced the pain, but it still zapped through me like an electric shock, I couldn't take the pain anymore, not the physical or mental hurt. I begin to see white spots as he kept kicking, jumping and weirdly, biting me. I was cold and numb, in a ball on the floor, when he finally spat his alcohol soaked saliva down onto me and left the house, slamming the door on the way out.

I cried out into the lonely darkness, still in my ball of pain, knowing no one would hear... or care. Jolts of pain still ran through my spine occasionally, after being beaten repeatedly. I remembered all the times that he'd done this before, then I had though it was over, I was obviously wrong. I remember the caring look in his eyes, and how alcohol turned them into cold hard granite. A new kind of pain joined the physical, and my body trembled fiercely. It hurt so much... just make it stop... someone.. anyone. I wrapped my arms around myself, as if to hold onto any good feeling that I had felt earlier. The pain of knowing that my good mood had gone so quickly, it was killing me inside. I groaned and trembled again, and gave in. I grabbed a knife and pinned my arm on the bench in pain, closing my eyes tightly. I just wished the pain would end, why won't it end?  
>My body shuddered in bliss as the blade ran over my arm, splitting my skin open. I felt a new kind of pain, it took over my body completely. I' rather feel this pain then all that other lot anyway. The blood dripped all over the skin, and I could see it getting darker and darker. Everything was getting darker. I ran the knife along my chest hungrily, ripping my shirt and cutting into my skin. The blood soaked into the fabric, and the fabric rubbed against the open wound painfully, but I just laughed and made another line in my chest. My body shook in protest, I knew I couldnt take much more before I blacked out. I pressed the blade onto my chest, pushing it gently, barely piercing the skin. Instead of driving it into my chest, I ran it downwards to my stomach and stopped under by belly button. The wind from under the door blew over the cut, making my body shake and shiver again. My mind wanted what my body couldnt take. I laughed as my chest spasmed uncontrollably, and ran the blade over my leg in a last attempt, ripping the denim of my jeans and as my vision faded, the last thing I saw was my blood tripping down my leg, into a pool around my foot. I wasn't gonna die, oh I knew that. I knew I'd wake up in the morning soaked with blood, I knew I'd just clean it up and shower like every other day, and go for a walk like every other fucking boring day of my fucked up life. But at least I had Andrew to look forward to...at least I had Andrew.<p>

_I swear I'll cut, til crimson falls, over the bedroom walls._


	6. Chapter 6

~Shaun's P.O.V~

I rolled over and immediately felt the pain and after affects of last night. Dried blood cracked off my skin and my bones hurt like hell, but hey, new morning new day. I rubbed my eyes and stood up, stretching my limbs as my scabs and cuts crackled and some reopened. I cleaned up with a roaring headache, and headed off to the shower, wincing with every step.  
>I turned on the hot water immediately, it was so hot it burnt my skin a bit but I barely noticed, my headache was too annoying. I felt the drops prickle my back and wash over me, as if it were cleansing me of any pain and harm. I got out and dried myself off, looking at my body for the first time in a while. Now that my clothes were gone and I had no blood on me, I could see clean little cuts all over my arms and chests, a massive gash on my leg, and large purple and blue bruises all along my gut, side, chest, and neck. I inspected each little incision in my body closely, fascinated at the pattern. Suddenly my phone buzzed, signalling a text message.<br>'_good morning babe xo'_ from Andy. Awwwwwwww. Babe? That's adorable. I smiled and despite the aching pain in my arms, I managed to text '_Did you sleep well cutie? x'_ back. If he was gonna flirt, well then so was I_. _My phone buzzed again shortly and I smiled as the message loaded.  
><em>'eh it was ok...would've been better if u were here though ;)'<br>_'_Aw well you're a bit of a cutie aren't you? ;)'  
><em>'_pfft I can be cuter then that!'  
><em>'_Try me.'  
><em>'_... well i dont have anything atm BUT mum wants 2 know if you wanna stay over 2 night? :) :) :) :) :)'  
><em>I thought to myself for a bit. Knowing from previous experiences, chances are Dad's gonna be at the bar, coming home late in the AM's to use me as a punching bag. Well, that's if he didn't pass out first. He wouldn't care where I was, in his drunken state. I knew the man he once was, definitely would take a while to come back, and I didn't really wanna be there in the meantime. Yep, staying at Andy's sounded perfect. I realised I was still naked, so I quickly put on some clean clothes and stuffed some random articles of clothing into a bag, and slung it over my shoulder as I walked out the door. I didn't have a car nor licence, but I was used to walking everywhere anyway.  
><em>'Sure babe ill just pack overnight clothes yeah?'<em>  
>'<em>sounds gr8 c u soon :D xoxo'<br>_':) xxx'

~Andy's P.O.V~

I must admit, I was a tad nervous for Shaun to be coming over. What if he gets upset again? Or doesn't like my house or something or feels weird..I don't know. I hope he liked it here... I'd love to have him over a lot. I was still pretty embarrassed over my whole flirty texting, I don't know what got into me, it just felt right. But I had said I wanted him in my bed... what if he thinks I'm a weirdo? Ah, Mum says don't worry about it but I was anyway. I was keen to get to know more about him though, he always seemed troubled, I want to know what's wrong, I want to fix him.  
>'Andy! Shaun's here!' called Mum from the lounge room where she was ironing some clothes. Even I knew my house was a fucking mansion, I really hoped Shaun didn't mind or feel less important or something. I sighed and opened the door, my face instantly breaking into a smile when I saw his face. His beautiful eyes, his cute little nose, his amazing lips... I wanted to kiss them so bad. He beamed back and we both leaned in for a hug at the same time, connecting our hands as we pulled away. I'm not sure what this was, but I think I'm in love. It all just seemed so damn normal.<br>I pulled him inside and told Mum we're going to my room. She gave me a look, she probably thought we were gonna get up to something, as if, we're not even together... yet. I _was_ holding his hand though, so it probably did look that way. I giggled and led Shaun to my room, where he put his bags. I closed my door and turned around as he did, and his little eyelashes fluttered up and I found myself looking into his beautiful eyes. My breathing quickened, and I could feel my heart practically beating out of my chest. I knew he felt the same way, I wanted to kiss him so bad. I started to lean forward but stopped myself and pulled back awkwardly, letting my heartbeat lower down to a more somewhat normal level. He scratched his neck and looked at me awkwardly. I looked back, and we both burst out laughing, I have no clue why.  
>'Hey Shauny, you like Call Of Duty?' I asked. His eyes widened.<br>'Yeah... but do you? That's not a very...um..' he stuttered.  
>'Gay thing to do?' I said, bursting out laughing.<br>'Well yeah.' he said, chuckling.  
>'Dude, I'm more man then anyone will ever be, I just happen to hate vaginas of all sorts.' I said, winking. He burst into laughter and we both stood up at the same time.<br>'Ever played Halo?' I asked, sorting through the games.  
>'Yeah but the graphics are shit, the 3rd Halo is okay though.' he answered, sitting next to me cross legged.<br>'Ha true.' I answered, flipping the games I'd checked next to me. Shaun picked one up, it was _Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. _We shared a look and I smirked.  
>'Fuck yeah.' he said, opening the X-Box CD drive and sliding the GTA disk in. We grinned, and began to play.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

~ Andy's P.O.V ~

'So Shaun, tell me about yourself.' I said, stealing some guys car on the game.  
>'Mum's dead. Dad's an alcoholic, can barely afford to live, hate everyone and everything, love music.. yeah that's it.' he said nonchalantly and calmly, as if it didn't matter. I frowned, but we kept playing. He must've been being sarcastic.<br>Shaun paused the game for us to go get some drinks, but as he pulled his arm away from the console, his sleeve caught on the cupboard and his sleeve went up, revealing a line of cuts. My eyes widened, and he pulled away without noticing I had seen. I frowned and grabbed his wrist. He tried to pull away, with a look of fright in his eyes, as if I'd scared him. My breaths deepened, and my grip tightened. I pulled him closer gently and slid up the sleeve of his shirt to reveal the lines of cuts once again. I just stared at them, trying not to breathe loudly.  
>'A-Andy?' Shaun said nervously, trying to pull away. He was like a scared little puppy, but I couldn't let go, I couldn't seem to drag my eyes away from the cuts. Everything flashed back to when I was a small kid of about 5. I was in the park, there was a tall teenaged kid with floppy black hair there, he looked sad. I didn't want him to be sad. He was crying behind a tree, a pretty girl had just thrown a necklace back at him and walked away from him. That girl was mean!<br>'Hey mister... guy? Are you okay?' I had asked nervously, in my little childs tone.  
>'No I'm not okay, I'm not!' the teenaged boy replied, as his voice broke halfway through. He flipped his dark hair out of his eyes as mini me looked on curiously.<br>'What's wrong guy?' I had asked, trying to be nice to the older boy.  
>'I loved her! I fucking loved her!' he said a naughty word! A word that Mummy banned! My young innocent eyes were wide and shocked. He pulled a razor out of his jean pocket and tore off the sleeve of his shirt with it. What if he was gonna hurt me? What would I do? I wouldn't get to go to Mummy's birthday if he hurt me so bad that I had to go see God. I whimpered, but instead the boy slid the razor over his own skin, multiple times over and over his wrist.<br>'No boy! Stop. That's weird! And creepy! What are you doing?' my voice was small and scared. The boy screamed as the razor hit a vein. Suddenly there were people everywhere in a blur, and Mummy had rushed me away quickly.  
>'What's happening to the boy?' I had asked Mummy, watching them load him into an ambulance.<br>'He did a very silly thing.. he might have to go visit God now.' she said, looking at me worried.  
>'Oh.. why did he do it?' I asked. Her eyes looked around, and she had replied back with a guilty voice;<br>'He was a bit cuckoo in the head darling.' I was too young to realize she had been lying. He wasn't crazy. He was just hurt.  
>'Oh... what a weirdo.'<br>'Honey, never ever ever do what that boy did... I'll make sure you're happy forever.' she said, mumbling the last bit to herself. I agreed and went home, as my favorite T.V show was starting soon and I didn't want to miss it.

I snapped back to reality quickly, realizing that I had forgotten that memory, it had escaped my mind for 11 years. But seeing those cuts on Shaun's wrist, made me realize that that boy had died, that that boy was in pain. Shaun was in pain. I needed to fix gasped, and I realized I had tightened my grip, leaving his hand white and bloodless.  
>'S-sorry.. bad memories..' I mumbled in apology. It was quiet for a bit.<p>

'Why Shaun?' I asked, looking down. Why did he have to hurt himself like this? To put himself in such danger? I shuddered at the thought of how similar his and the black haired boy's scars were, how similarly close he was to ending up like that boy.  
>'E-everything Andy. Everything and everyone hates me. It's me against the world.' he sighed, and a tear fell down his cheek. I put his hands in mine, as he begin to talk. He told me everything, from how beautiful his mother was, to how his father had changed overnight to the horrible alcoholic he once was. He told me about school, about his life as a child, everything that had been bugging him, he told me. He even (accidently) told me about his feelings for me, how he'd never want to lose me, even if we'd only just met. I knew how he felt in that section, because I felt exactly the same way. I don't think he remembered exactly who he was talking to, he just needed to get it all out, everything that had been on his shoulders for years now. He'd been through so much. I wiped away a tear from his cheek as he finished up, and he smiled bitterly. Hours had passed, and it was probably way into the night now.<br>'I bet you think I'm a loser now.' he said, sniffling a bit.  
>'No. I think you're brave and strong. You've been through so much and you've dealt with it all on your own... kinda.' I glanced at his wrists, and then his chest, imagining the cuts and scars that were hiding underneath. He'd told me all about what happened between him and his father, about how he'd basically chopped himself up to deal with his emotional pain. We were both quiet for a few moments, but it was okay. Nothing else needed to be said. I didn't realize tears had started flooding down my face silently until Shaun had wiped them away for me. As he moved his hand away, he brushed my hair out of my eyes, and I leaned in, pressing my lips against his carefully. I wrapped my fingers around his wrists, much more gentler this time, pressing my thumbs gently over his cuts, massaging them.<br>The peck changed smoothly into a kiss. I felt his heart beat race in time with mine, and I closed my eyes, pulling him closer. He pulled me into his lap, and our lips moved in motion slowly. I ran my tongue over his bottom lip gently, and he suddenly pulled away, and I realized I was going too fast for him.  
>'S-sorry...I got a bit caught up.' I said, smiling slightly, chewing my lip piercing.<br>'It's fine.' he answered, smiling back.  
>'I just gotta learn to take my time with you..' I said, glancing at him. He just nodded his head, catching his breath. He was still like a little puppy dog, scared that anything could happen, I didn't want to rush him anyway, he wasn't capable of being pushed to do things at the moment.<br>'First kiss?' I was about to say, but changed it to 'First full on kiss?', remembering the night in the park where we had locked lips briefly. This time he shook his head. I felt kinda sad, I had wanted to be his first, but it was tolerable because I know I had kissed a lot of people in my time. And he was an excellent kisser, he would've had to have practiced somewhere. I got butterflies just thinking of the kiss, and smiled to myself. I reached over and took his hand again, and he smiled.  
>'You're amazing, don't ever change, or let anyone tell you otherwise.' I said to him, and he smiled more.<br>'Thanks Andrew.. this means a lot to me. You being my friend, being there for me, when you barely even know me.'  
>'Well, I think I know you more then anyone else knows you right now.' I said, laughing a bit. He chuckled and nodded in agreement.<br>'Shit, it's so late..' Shaun said, looking at my clock.  
>'4AM? Fuck, time passes quickly. Legit was 10pm last time I looked.' I said, in a confused tone.<br>'We should catch some sleep, aye.' Shaun said, squeezing my hand.  
>'Yeah true,' I said, pulling him onto my bed with me. There was another bed set up next to mine, but mine was a double, and I knew we were both too tired to even bother walking to the other bed. He wrapped his arms around my waist spooning me, and rested his head on my shoulder. I turned my head slightly and kisses his lips.<br>'Night Shauny.' I whispered, turning my head back and curling in a ball. He kept his arms around me, it felt so natural.  
>'Night baby,' he whispered back, and I smiled.<br>'I mean.. night Andy.' he winked and I smirked back. He fell asleep with his arms around me and sooner enough I had drifted off into the land of dreams too.


	8. Chapter 8

~Shaun's P.O.V~

I jolted awake, for no reason(I hadn't had any sort of dream nor nightmare whatsoever), and found myself looking up in a strange room, completely forgetting why I was here. I shook my head and blinked a few times, feeling suddenly wide awake. A light came in focus in the corner of the room. I heard a light muffled sound of techno electric music, and looked over at the light. Andy was at his desk with his head down, over what looked like homework or something. He had earphones in and the volume was probably a bit loud. I didn't want him to wreck his hearing, so I nudged him awake, and smiled and his cute little reaction. He mumbled something and opened his eyes, and his face lit up when he saw it was me. Aw, what a cutie.  
>'Shaun what are you doing up?' he mumbled, pulling out one earphone. 'It's like, morning.'<br>'9AM, I dunno um I'm an early riser.' I said, scratching my neck. Andy looked wide awake now, and we were smiling at each other.  
>'Oh same, I just needed to finish homework but I don't know I just-'<br>'It's fine, I understand.' I said calmly, smiling.  
>'Okay.' he answered simply. It was kinda awkward and I could still hear his music playing.<br>"What ya listening to?' I asked curiously. His cheeks flashed a light crimson.  
>'Uh nothing..' he said, pulling away a bit. I snatched an earphone and placed it in my ear, surprised to hear the first techno beats of Candyland by Blood On The Dance Floor. I seriously thought I would be the only person in this town to listen to BOTDF. Andy looked down embarrassed, as the chorus came on. I smirked and raised my eyebrow at him, and he just blushed.<br>'Dude calm down. I listen to Blood On The Dance Floor too, fuck I love them!' I said, grinning. His mouth pulled up into a smile, and I laughed.  
>'I seriously thought I was a fucked up weird kid for being the only one to listen to them... but hey, turns out you're just as fucked up.' he said, winking slighly.<br>I put on a playful offended face and soon enough we were laughing for no reason. We soon got back onto the topic of BOTDF.  
>'This your favourite song?' I asked, referring to Candyland.<br>'Yeah bro, it has my name in it.' he said, smirking.  
>'Oh yeah.' I said, in a flirtatious voice.<br>'Welcome to Andyland, I'll split your ass in two.' he sang gently, changing the lyrics a bit.  
>'Hey you can sing good.' I remarked, and he blushed again.<br>'I'm more into playing bass.' he said.  
>'I see.' I said, in a mock wise voice. Andy just laughed and I smiled back in return. We just sat there, laughing for a bit, listening to BOTDF. It was quite nice.<br>'What's your favourite Blood song?' he asked, curiously. By now we had both discovered we shared the same interest in bands, like BOTDF, Green Day, Blink 182.  
>'Yo Ho.. I secretly wanna be a pirate.' I admitted. He laughed in return and I just smiled back again. Candyland came back on.<br>'I suspect that they're both gay for each other.' I said thoughtfully.  
>'Agreed, they always sing about anal and gobbies, never really about normal sex.' Andy replied, and I pulled him in my lap. I don't know why, it just seemed like the right thing to do. He wrapped his legs around my waist, straddling me, and for some reason it was probably the most comfortable thing ever. We just kept talking casually, as if we weren't in such a homosexual position and as if him straddling me didn't matter.<br>'Jayy is cute.' I remarked.  
>'You're cuter!' he said, kissing my nose. That was unexpected, but it was nice.<br>'Nawwww.' I said, exaggerating the end. He just smiled and Candyland started playing again.  
>'Welcome to candyland, you'll want to fuck me twice. I'll be your gingerbread man, first time naughty, second time nice.' I heard Andy mumbling along to the song. He looked me in the eyes and I winked slyly, moving my hands from his waist to his ass. He jumped a bit but still stayed in my lap. I just kept my hands resting under his ass because he didn't seem comfortable if I did anything too raunchy.<br>He leaned in and rested his head on my neck, it was about afternoon now and neither of us were very tired. I was ecstatic just to be this close to him, let alone him cuddling into me. I smiled but pulled away a bit as his crotch moved dangerously against mine. I moaned and re positioned his hips because I didn't want to get a boner, that'd just be embarrassing and I knew I was gonna if he did that again.  
>He noticed me move and raised his eyebrow, then smirked. I tried to act casual, but I think he'd guessed what was happening down there. He smiled and kissed my neck gently, and I just sat there nervously. He smirked, moving on my lap and pushed his waist full on against mine, watching me. I moaned and brought my head back, looking at the roof. He tipped my head forward and kissed my lips gently, and I kissed him back just at gently.<br>By now I had backed into the wall on the other side of the bed, and he hadn't gotten off me the whole time, he'd just moved with me.  
>Augh, fucking tease.<br>He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back against the wall, kissing my lips again, this time more roughly. I responded with more control this time, pushing him backwards onto the bed and pinning him down with my arms. He moved his head up and kissed my lips again, and I smiled, kissing back. He kept trying to get up, but my hands were against his shoulders, making it nearly impossible.  
>I sat on his hips, placing my legs on either side of his thighs, still not breaking the kiss. A lot of tongue action had gotten involved, and now it was getting more sexual then just the fun and games it had started off with. I was now on top of him completely, and his hands had began wondering somewhere down my chest. I kissed his neck and he pulled me closer, and our breathing got deeper and more ragged, as he began to pull off my shirt..<p>

~Andy's P.O.V.~  
><em>Oh, Shauny has a bit of sexual frustration down there,<em> I thought to myself, smiling. Well I might as well tease him up a bit, who knows when I'll have the chance to see him again. I pushed my waist against his, and felt his hardness on my leg, through our jeans. I kept rubbing my leg against his crotch, and watching his face change in emotion, there was always bliss there though, pure bliss. He loved it. I had him against the wall now, and I tried pinning him against it, taking a massive risk because I was smaller and probably weaker then him.  
>Surely enough, I lost control of him and his strength took over mine, pinning me back. It was fun, just battling and wrestling him playfully. I wanted to kiss him again so bad, he was the best kisser I'd come across. I leaned up and kissed him again, pulling his face down. I used my tongue a lot and soon enough he started fighting back with his, battling our tongues against each others' roughly. We were heavily making out as he sat down on me, with his pelvis against mine. His hands were on the back of my head, holding it there so we wouldnt break the kiss, but my hands weren't doing anything.<br>I ran them down his chest, touching one of the cuts on the way and I shuddered, and kept running my hands down his smooth warm skin.  
>I didn't really want to have sex, well I've never actually had gay sex. I'd watched videos of it but didn't quite understand the whole anal concept, and I don't think we were ready for that either, hell, I wasn't even sure if we were dating yet.<br>My hands got to the hem of his shirt, and I broke the kiss to pull the shirt over his head. His chest was perfect apart from the little scars and cuts that were littered over it. I threw the shirt somewhere in my room, and kissed his chest gently, kissing each individual cut and scar. Things had settled down between us now that our tongues were back in our own mouths. He pulled off my shirt and we sat up gently, just softly kissing each other with the occasional bits of tongue. He was holding my waist and I had my hand on his cheek as we exchanged gentle, but deep kisses.  
>The warm skin of his chest rubbed against mine a bit, and I pulled him close. There was barely any room for air to pass by between us, now. Our lips were locked together, but not roughly like before, it was more slow and sincere.<br>Both our pants had come back to normal breathing, yet somehow we didnt need to pull back for air, even if our mouths were pocked together, not allowing oxygen into our mouths.  
>Shaun shifted a bit, crossing his legs slightly, then he pulled me into his lap again, his lips against mine gently but intensely. Our tongues relocked but it wasnt a fast, breathless making out session like before, it was more deep and meaningful. His chest was pressed against mine, and his skin was radiating heat. It was so perfect, to sit here in his arms, with our lips as the only thing moving.<br>The door opened slightly, and Mum was standing there. She instantly looked embarrassed, and me and Shaun pulled apart and backed away from each other quickly, like the embarrassed little teenagers we were.  
>'Uh s-so um I uh..' Mum stuttered, and I just looked down as Shaun was blushing like mad.<br>'I should really close the door fully next time, and you should knock. Agreed?' I said to Mum casually.  
>'U-uh I um..' Mum mumbled again, and walked out embarrassed. I looked over at Shaun and we both burst out laughing.<br>'Fuck that was awkard.' he said, running a hand through his hair.  
>'Yeah.. yeah it was. Ah well, not the first time she hasn't knocked while I was doing... uh... personal stuff.' I blushed, referring to masturbation.<br>Shaun looked at me unbelievably.  
>'Your mum walked in on you wanking?'<br>'Kinda. I wasn't facing her though thank god! Oh god look at the time..' I said, changing the topic slightly. Shaun just shook his head in laughter.  
>'Fuck, it's 5PM already?' he said, collecting up his things.<br>'No.. no Shaun.. stay here again.. please?' I asked him, giving him puppy dog eyes. I wanted him here with me and I did NOT want him to go back to his father.  
>'Sure, not like Dad would care.' Shaun said, as his mobile went off. He stood up and left the roo to answer it, and after a few muttered replies, his voice rised from the hall.<br>'You can't kick me out, I'm not even out of school yet!' he exclaimed loudly. I pressed my ear to the door, listening carefully as I slightly heard a muffled reply.  
>'Fine maybe I will... no his name is Andy don't fucking be homophobic... What if I do? huh? What would you say if I told you right now, that I was in love with this guy?' I paused. He's in love with me! Does he realise I'm listening? What.. what was happening..? Is it possible that maybe, I was in love with Shaun too?<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

~Andy's P.O.V~

'I fucking will, cunt.' Shaun's angry voice was still in argument with someone who I suspected was his father.  
>'I fucking love Andy. I am in love with him.' he said in a pissed off voice. There was a loud yell through the phone, and Shaun winced.<br>'I told you I would.. no he's not... Fuck off ... Not like you care anyway, you're the worst fucking Dad ever...'  
>It was muffled for a bit before voices rised again.<br>'Fine.. no fuck you. You- ...' he was cut off and then his voice raised again.  
>'You're not my fucking father, you're a fucking monster. No wonder why Mum hated you so much.' and with that, he hung up. He walked in, looking upset. I put my arm round his shoulders, attempting to comfort him.<br>'I heard a lot..' I admitted.  
>'Did you hear the part about how my Dad is an arrogant cunt?' he asked bitterly.<br>'Well, yeah... that's kinda the whole thing.' I joked.  
>'Did I mention I don't have a home?' he said, pulling at the scabs in his cuts, making them bleed. I slapped his arm away.<br>'You always have a home here with me, even if we weren't mates.' I said, holding down his hand.  
>'Thanks.. Did you hear that part about how I'm kinda hopelessly in love with you?' he said, not the slightest bit ashamed. I just nodded.<br>'Yeah.' he said, looking at me. I looked down, then up in his eyes.  
>'I think.. I love.. I think I have feelings like that for you too.. I'm sorry.' I said, diverting my eyes. 'I have trouble with the L word.'<br>'It's cool.' he said, sighing.  
>'Well. At least you get to live with me, Mum wont care neither will Dad.' I said, smiling to myself. He grinned to himself then looked down again.<br>'Father burnt all my clothes..' he muttered, with a depressive look in his eye.  
>'Dude don't worry about that, I've got like a million shirts and jeans that I don't wear you can have. We can share clothes and shit.' It was true, I always bought got bought all this crap I don't even use. I could easily supply like 5 people with clothes and shit.  
>'Aw cute. Thanks. Love you.' he said, carefully.<br>'Love you too' I muttered, stumbling over the word but still saying it nevertheless.

~Shaun's P.O.V~  
>It was a week later, school was out, the Clemmensen family had taken custody of me, Dad couldnt give a fuck anyway, he just wanted me gone. He was going to rehab, thank god, he needed it. A lot had happened this week, I'm just so glad I had met Andy, or I'd probably be almost dead from my father by now. Andy's friends accepted us being together, and I wasn't an outcast anymore, I actually got pretty popular. Surprisingly, noone was homophobic or anything. Well, school was out and half of the kids were going to college anyway, so I probably wouldn't see most of them again ever in my life.<br>Andy and I still hadn't sorted out our relationship, we just knew we were together. We hadn't done anything more then casual kissing and cuddling, but I still lived in Andy's room with him, and now that holidays were starting, I was keen to hang out with him a bit more. We were only in 1 of the same classes in school and we were seated across the room, so it sucked at school. I was just glad it was holidays. Andy's older stepbrother, Bradie, was coming home for good on the day after school ends. and Andy seemed pretty happy about that. So it was all good. As long as he's happy, I'm happy.

'Shaunyy.' I heard Andy whine from the bathroom connected to his/our bedroom, the night before Bradie was arriving.  
>We still had the other bed in there, I didnt know if Andy's parents knew we didn't use it, we shared a bed, but we hadn't done anything sexual anyway so it shouldn't matter.<br>'Yeah babe?' I called, pulling on some american patterned shorts to wear to bed and strutted into the bathroom. I had a little obsession with strutting at the moment, I dunno, it just seemed cool. Like I was a pirate or something. I closed the bathroom door and Andy was in there, shaving his face carefully with just a towel around him. He must've just got out the shower. I wasn't embarrassed to see him nearly naked, even though I'd never seen this much of him before. I just treated it casually, like an every day thing. We were a couple now, we had to do what couples do.  
>'Grab me some clothes? Please?' he asked sweetly, still shaving his face carefully. I passed him some skinny jeans but didn't bother getting him a shirt, I didn't have one on but if he wanted one he can get it himself.<br>I went back in the bedroom and he emerged a few minutes later, dressed in the jeans, and smelling nice and clean shaven. He looked adorable, too. He hadn't been self harming himself lately, he seemed less depressed and everything. I loved him, I really did, and by the look of his process, I could tell he loved me too. I got into bed and he sat in front of the mirror playing with his hair. I just watched, amused.  
>'My hair is horrible.' he whined, messing it up.<br>'Hahahahh you're adorable.' I said, watching him and laughing. He climbed in bed next to me and I automatically wrapped my arms around him, and he cuddled into my chest like every other night so far.  
>'Night Shauny.' he mumbled sleepily. Sometimes it was hard to imagine he was older then me, even if it only was by a few months.<br>'Night baby... I mean, night Andrew.' I said back. It had become some sort of a bed time ritual to say it, like the first night.  
>He fell asleep in my arms and I could hear him breathing lightly. I soon fell asleep listening to his rhythmic breathing pattern, and at that moment, my life felt like pure fucking bliss.<p>

A/N  
>**** I KNOW THAT ANDY IS OLDER THEN SHAUN, AND THAT BRADIE IS YOUNGEST. BUT IN THIS FANFIC, BRADIE IS OLDEST, AND SHAUN IS YOUNGEST. K? OKAY, GOOD.<br>Also, the story line's a bit fucked up and speeded up at the moment, sorry, I just couldn't think of anything that would also fit what happened later on. Hahah my apologies, just try and keep with me. ****


	10. Chapter 10

~Andy's P.O.V~

_'Shauny!' I yelled out desperately, as the cloaked man approached him with a knife. He ignored me, and kept walking.  
>'Shaun watch out!' I screamed at him, but he just looked back at me bitterly, and looked ahead again, walking away. The man was speeding up, with an evil grin spread across his face. I can't believe Shaun wasn't listening to me. I began to fear for his life.<br>__'Shaun, behind you!' He still wasn't listening. I decided to take matters into my own hands  
>'What the fuck! Get the fuck off me!' yelled Shaun, as I tackled him. I covered his body with mine, waiting.<br>'What are you doing?' he said, trying to push me off. I was reluctant, and didn't get off, still covering his body.  
><em>_'Mate, you've gone crazy! Let me go!' he said, still desperately trying to get me off. No. I couldn't, he'd get hurt! I pinned down his arms so he couldnt struggle, and I felt him give up beneath me. We were both breathing heavily. I looked up as a shadow begin to hover over us. It was the cloaked man, not even a metre away from where we were sprawled out on the ground. I froze, crouched in front of Shaun, protecting him from the stranger.  
>'W-what do you want?' I whispered, flaring my nostrils.<br>'Him.' said the man, pointing to Shaun. My Shauny. Shaun's innocent eyes widened as he froze, and my heart raced faster and I became more protective.  
>'You can't have him!' I said back hoarsely, scrambling to my feet. The man raised his eyebrows and chuckled.<br>__'I'll have you instead, then.' he said, stepping closer.  
>'Take me.' I whispered, as the man drew his knife out again.<br>'N-no!' Shaun screamed, and tried to lunge forward. I pushed him away with just my arm, I never knew I possessed such strength before. He fell back onto his ass helplessly as man kicked his gut, then took another step towards me. He pressed the cold metal of the blade to my neck and chuckled again.'Silly boy..Foolish.' he whispered.  
>'Wh-what?' I muttered, trying not to lower my throat to the blade. As I spoke though, my skin grazed the edge, and a few drops of blood specked the silver of the blade. I looked nervously at Andy, who was crouched in pain.<br>'I'll just take him after I'm done with you.' said the man, jerking his finger at Shaun crumpled on the ground. I screamed and tried to move, forcing the blade deeper into my skin. I moaned in pain, trying not to give the man the satisfaction of seeing me like this.  
>'Andrew!' I heard Shaun's audible voice whisper.<br>'Sh-shauny?' I managed to whisper back through my lips, which were now covered in blood.  
>'Andy, I love you.' he looked up into my eyes, and I could see the pain in them.<br>'Shaun, I love you t-' I gasped as the blade dug deeper into my throat, and everything in my eyes was suddenly just white. I heard Shaun scream as I dropped to the ground. A sharp pain went through my stomach, then my thighs. I heard someone laugh, and another person cry. Why was everything white? Was I dying? Suddenly, I didn't feel anything. Nothing. Not a thing. All I could smell was smoke. I heard another scream, and then a laugh, then silence. Everything was dead silent...everything was dead._

I woke up to my own screams, in a heavy sweat. I glanced at the time on my phone. 6AM. We had to go get Bradie from the airport in 3 hours. I sighed, and rolled over, looking at Shaun sleep. He had earphones in, that's probably why he was still fast asleep. He must've woken up sometime in the night for them, because I don't remember him falling asleep with them in. I closed my eyes and moaned loudly, pressing my cold hands against my flushed cheeks. I hated these dreams, they begun around age 12, when I was going through puberty.  
>I used to get them about once a week, the man would always take me, as I protected my close friends and family. I never knew what happened after that. They had stopped for a while after I met Shaun. In the short while I had known Shaun existed, they had completely gone away. But now for some reason they were back, and it scared me. I cuddled deeper into Shaun's arms, feeling safer as I did, but still couldn't shake the nightmare from my head. I cared more about this one then any other, I have no clue why. The older ones were becoming the same people, repeatedly, but this one was about someone who I'd never even dreamt of before. Shaun. I couldn't bear the though of loosing him. He was the best thing to happen to me in a long time. I just.. augh.<br>I rolled over again, and turned on my own iPod, blaring Blink 182 the loudest I could, and started to drift off again, as my thoughts cleared.  
>But all through the night, there was still that nightmare nagging me at the back of my head, and even as I slept, I couldn't shake it from my thoughts.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

~ Shaun's P.O.V ~  
>I sat up, in fright as my music paused and the loud noise of my alarm blared through my earphones. I calmed down, taking my earphones from my ears, as Andy rolled over restlessly beside me. I decided to let him sleep in for a bit, until I had a shower. I got a towel and opened the bathroom(connected to our room) as quietly as I could. It creaked a bit but Andy still went on sleeping soundly. His earphones were next to him, blaring loudly. They must've fallen out in his sleep.<br>I stripped down to my clothes quickly, feeling the early morning chill against my skin. I shivered and looked at my chest in the mirror. I hadn't cut for a long, time, since I had moved away from my father. He'd been sent to rehab shortly after the Clemmensen's 'adopted' me.  
>I looked at the scars, cuts and bruises carefully. Some cuts were barely visible, and the scars were fading. The bruises from the night my father attacked me, were clearing up and were a faded yellowy colour. I smiled to myself gently, as my body hadn't been in such condition for a long time. I suddenly felt a burst of cold wind, and shivered again, getting into the shower eagerly, turning on the hot water.<br>I moaned loudly as a hot spray of water jetted against my skin, warming me all over. The smell of soap was lovely, and I loved the feeling of cleansing my body.

There was a quick knock at the bathroom door, then Andy slipped inside quietly. I skittered back and covered my crotch with my hands, turning to face the wall. I was blushing, but he couldn't see that as I wasn't facing him anymore. I heard him sliding off his clothes, and smiled as he opened the shower door and stepped inside. Our bodies were close now, as the shower wasn't very large and could probably only fit 3 people in it, if you squished them in. I shivered as Andy's arms wrap around my waist. He was wearing nothing but underwear, and I was stark naked. He kept hugging me from behind, as the warm water rushed over us. He began to kiss my neck gently, trailing little wet kisses down to my collar bone. I closed my eyes and tilted my head slightly as I felt his warm tongue against the skin of my neck. He buried his head in my neck, kissing more roughly, working his tongue over and over whilst sucking at my skin. I let out a tiny moan as he pulled his head away to flick his wet blonde hair out of his eyes. I smiled. He had left a hickey on my neck, a love bite. He turned me around, and pushed me against the wall gently, pinning my shoulders against it with his hands, and pressing his lips against the middle of my neck. He trailed little kisses up and over my jaw, and stopped at the corner of my mouth, as I slid my hands to his waist. His skin was rubbery against mine in result of the water. His waist was slender and muscular, similar to his chest. He kissed my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, letting him slip his tongue into it. His hands massaged against my shoulders as he pushed me more against the shower wall, slightly more roughly this time. I was no longer in the water, and it was only just running down Andy's back. Our lips moves together in sync as his tongue clashed against mine, occasionally sliding deeper into my mouth before pushing it back onto mine again. My head was pushed against the wall as Andy attacked me with his tongue. He ran his fingernails down my chest slightly, leaving the slightest scratches on my skin, as his lips worked against mine roughly. I started getting into it, and I started kissing back just as passionately. A spray of water jetted off Andy's back, and I shuddered into his mouth as it hit my skin. He reached back, not breaking the kiss, and turned off the water. I tried to keep up with his kisses but I was a bit slow, as I wasn't used to making out with someone so fast. He, on the other hand, had obviously had a bit more experience then me. He took my hand and pulled me out the shower, and out of the bathroom, back into the bedroom.  
>'Shaunnnny.' whispered Andy as he pushed me on the bed gently and climbed onto me sexually.<br>'Andrew,' I said back as I smirked and reached up to kiss his lips. His tongue instantly pushed into my mouth, and I moaned slightly as it slid past my lips. His legs wrapped around my waist and I moaned again, feeling his hard cock rub against mine, with only the thin fabric of his underwear separating us. He smirked and shoved his tongue deeper in my mouth, running his hands through my hair.  
><em>Horny little bastard, <em>I thought as I rubbed his thigh, kissing back. _Fuck this is gay, he's lucky that he's fucking sexy.  
><em>He kissed my neck again, and bit the skin gently. I moaned and closed my eyes. His body lay draped on top of me, keeping me warm as he moved his hands down to my waist. I jumped as I heard our door creak open, but couldn't move as Andy was still on top of me. He looked up, untangling his hand from my hair. The door opened slightly.  
>'Boys, I hope you're ready, we've got to go in 30-' Andy's mum, Cassandra, stopped short in the doorway once she saw us, and moved her eyes to the roof.<br>'We've got to go in 30 minutes.' she said, turning around and walking out. I blushed and Andy just smirked, and kissed my neck again. He didn't have any intentions of stopping, by the looks of it, but I knew we'd have to start getting ready, because Andy took like, ages on the hair straightener, and we only had half an hour. I rolled over and pushed him off, sitting up. He screwed up his nose at me so I leaned forward and kissed his nose gently. He giggled and got up to get ready. I walked into the bathroom and switched on the hair straightener, and walked back out to where Andy was sliding on a pair of his black ripped skinny jeans.  
>'Hair straightener's on.' I turned and pulled on some normal black skinnys and a grey shirt with a few holes in it, tucking my necklace under my shirt. I looked over at Andy who was using the hair straightener with no shirt on. He looked strange there with his black jeans and arms full of wristbands, but bare chest. I threw him a random shirt which he slipped over his head carelessly and just continued styling his hair. I sighed, slipped a headband in my nest of brown curls and brushed it over my face carelessly, then sprayed it lightly with hairspray. I didn't really care about my appearance as much as Andy but I knew how to make myself look decently good looking with barely any effort. I slid on a pair of thongs, which Andy laughed at. He always laughed at my obsession with wearing thongs, well it's not my fault they're so comfy. He sprayed like 2849234 cans of hairspray in his hair and 10 minutes later we were both ready to go. I heard both mine and Andy's stomachs rumble at the same time. He laughed and grabbed his wallet.<br>'We'll get maccas or something on the way.' he said, grabbing my hand, and pulling me out the room. I tilted his head up and pecked his lips, then we got into the car with Andy's parents, off to pick up Bradie and his girlfriend.


	12. Authors Note  Apology x

_I'm sorry for the lack of posting/ effort into the chapters. My life is pretty fucked at the moment, and I havent had the willpower or feeling to write lately, you know? Yeah, my brain isn't fully in form yet, I have no clue how I'm gonna cope at school, my head is full of thunderstorms at the moment, just bear with me if you can._  
><em>Also, I'm not sure where this story is going exactly, it's still undecided, and dodgy, I don't edit chapters much before posting, and with my head out of it, it may have a fair few mistakes so give me a break there haha. I'm not sure whether to get rid of the fanfic, start a new one, or change the plot completely.<em>  
><em>But you guys will see soon what decision I made, I guess. Haha.<em>  
><em>So once again, apologies for not posting frequently, and I'm sorry if the chapters are getting shitty or whatever, I'll probably start writing better when my life is in shape again.<em>  
><em>Thanks for reading guys so far, and keeping up with me.<br>Living through you, hope you're all well and happy with how your lives are going. :)_  
><em>Much love;<em>

**-** _Disco Honey_ **x**


	13. Chapter 12

~ Andy's P.O.V ~

Shaun kept laughing at me all the way to the train station, because I was fussing over my hair in the mirror. Well, it's not my fault I want to look good. I would get him back for it later, anyway. We pulled into the parking space, and got out of the car. Shaun's hand swiftly brushed against mine, so I laced my fingers through his and smiled. We all walked into where Bradie's train was just arriving, and I smiled when he got out of the train, weighed down by his suitcases. I had last seen him 2 months ago and I'm glad he decided to move back home, I was really starting to miss him. He walked over to us, and Mum hugged him, with tears in her eyes. Shaun looked kinda awkward standing there, so I wrapped my arms around his waist strongly. Bradie turned to hug me, and his eyes darted down to my arms instantly. His hands dropped to his side, and he quickly looked up at me with a strange look on his face. I raised an eyebrow, and his eyes shot daggers at me, as if he hated me. I was confused and let my arm fall back to my side. Shaun was looking over at something at the other side of the airport, and didn't notice this small exchange between Bradie and I. I bit my lip gently and leaned towards Bradie, and he held me tightly, as if to try and save me from something. I frowned and tried to pull away so Bradie dropped his arms again. Mum smiled at us as if we'd just missed each other a lot, but this was something else. Not love. Not care. This was definitely something else. Shaun turned back to us and smiled at us both as if everything was normal, but I knew it wasn't. Bradie knew it wasn't. I didn't know what just happened, but I guessed it was going to stay between us, maybe forever.  
>'Boys, help pack Bradie's things in the car while we sort out some things.' Mum said, smiling at us. I shrugged and pulled Shaun along. We loaded ourselves up with Bradie's belongings, and dragged and carried them all the way back to the car. We weren't speaking, it wasn't awkward silence, just normal silence I guess. We packed them into the boot and any other spare places we could find. I heaved myself onto the hood of the car exhausted, and Shaun followed in unison. His hand automatically grabbed mine and I entwined his fingers through my own, smiling slightly. He rested his head on my shoulder tiredly, and closed his eyes gently. I looked down at his face, smiling softly and kissing his forehead. He opened his eyes and looked up at me, smiling back.<br>His lips reached up gently, just resting against mine for a few seconds before we pulled away. He sat up straight and crossed his legs, smiling. I grinned back, and slid off the car hood, expecting him to follow. Instead, he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back towards him. My face was near his chest and he leant down and kissed me roughly with his tongue, sliding down in front of me. I pulled away gasping for air, and he smirked, and stood up straight.  
>'Rude.' I said, smiling at him and wrapping my arms around his waist. He was taller than me but I didn't really care how odd it might look. He wrapped his arms over my neck, dangling his hands down my back to my waist. I pecked his lips once, standing on my tip-toes, then pulled away. I grabbed his hand and pulled away, just in time obviously, as mum, dad, and Bradie were just walking back to the car. I could still taste Shaun on my mouth as I smiled at them. I saw Bradie glare at Shaun slightly, then he got in the backseat. Wow, how could dislike Shaun already, they hadn't even spoken yet.. had they? I shrugged it off and sat in the backseat, between Shaun and Bradie. I didn't wan't anything to happen, although I doubted Bradie would start something in front of mum &amp; dad.<p>

Mum and Dad were engaged in some kind of argument and Shaun had his earphones in, it was the perfect time to speak to Bradie. I nudged him slightly, and he looked down at me questionably  
>'You ok? You're acting weird.' I whispered, looking at him. Something clouded his eyes then he blinked, and looked back to the road, ignoring me.<br>'Bradie.' I said more loudly, but not loud enough for anyone to hear. Well, anyone except Bradie, that is.  
>'I'm fine Andrew, we can talk later.' he said, without any expression. I shrugged and we pulled into our driveway. Bradie went straight to unpacking his things, so I didn't have any chance to speak with him anyway. Shaun had grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs, he wanted to tell me something apparently.<p>

'Dude, I don't think Bradie likes me..' he began, pacing back and forth across the bedroom floor.  
>'I think he's just mad at me for something.. don't worry about it.' I said, and smiled. I didn't want Shaun and Bradie to get off to a bad start, or Shaun to get stuck in any problems between Bradie and I.<br>'Mmkay,' Shaun said, sprawling himself across the bed. I crawled onto him and kissed his belly. He giggled and pulled my head up, kissing my lips gently with his hands on either side of my head. I felt a burst of happiness zap through me and I ran my head through his hair, messing it up. He dropped his arms to my chest and hugged me tightly, making my smile almost as wide as a Cheshire cat's. He smelt so nice, I could just stay here forever in his arms and not worry about a thing. He pulled away gently and sat up. I stood up and pulled him off the bed, kissing his lips gently. Just that moment, Bradie came barreling through the door.  
>'Mum said we're having pizza for-' he stopped short in the doorway, seeing Shaun and I standing there. I blushed and pulled away, and Bradie got that look in his eye again, but this time there was a bit of disgust added to it.<br>'Can I ask you something?' he asked me, ignoring Shaun, who's gone red as a tomato. I nodded and he sighed impatiently.  
>'Alone.' he added, with annoyance in his voice. I sighed and Shaun looked down, embarrassed as fuck. I shot him an apologetic look and he smiled back slightly. I was pulled from the room by Bradie towing me away roughly. He dragged me to his room and slammed the door.<br>'Um.. Wh-what the fuck?' I said, looking at him annoyed.  
>'You're gay?' he shot back, with a fiery look in his eye.<br>'K-kinda.. I mean yes.' I said, correcting myself, after Bradie shot another look at me. He looked so angry.  
>'You're fucking sickening.' Bradie replied, looking at me. Great, he's a homophobe. I let my eyes wonder to the ground. I'd never felt so worthless. Bradie. My sweet, kind brother. Calling me this. I thought he'd accept me, of all people.<br>'Because I like someone? Because I'm finally actually happy with someone?' I said, tears forming in my eyes. I couldn't help it, I just felt so shit.  
>'If God wanted gays, he would've put Adam and <em>Steve<em> in the garden of Eden!' he said, looking kinda upset.  
>'Bradie.. I can't help it, I love Shaun.' I said, wiping my cheeks.<br>'Love is between a man and a woman. Not two fucking men.' he frowned slightly.  
>'You're h-homophobic, aren't you..' I said, standing up straighter.<br>'No. I just.. you can't be fucking gay, alright?' Bradie said, covering his face with his hands.  
>'Why not..' I said, more stating it instead of asking it.<br>'I just.. I want a niece. That's all.' he said, turning the slightest bit red. I didn't get it. Why can't he just have a kid..  
>'Huh.. why a niece?' I asked, confused. His face softened.<br>'I dunno.. I just.. I don't know. I've just always wanted one, that's all.' he said gently, looking at me. I didn't understand this, not at all.  
>'Right..' I answered. He looked so upset, and I didn't quite get it. I scratched my head awkwardly.<br>'Ah.. I'ma go back to Shaun..' I said, nodding my head toward the door. He smiled awkwardly.  
>'Sorry Andy..' he said, apologetically.<br>'What for?' I asked curiously.  
>'For being a dick. Love whoever you want. I just hate seeing my brother grow up, I guess.' he admitted, looking down.<br>'Thanks.' I got up to leave and closed the door gently on my way out.  
><em>'Well, that was weird.' <em>I thought to myself, opening the door to my bedroom again. Shaun instantly jumped on me.  
>'What'd he say Andy?' he asked curiously.<br>'He just um.. went on about safe sex and shit..' I lied, looking embarrassed.  
>'Oh so he doesn't hate me?' Shaun asked happily.<br>'Nuh.' I answered, smiling.  
>'Okay good. Let's play MW3?' asked Shaun. Wow, he was like, full of energy or something.<br>'You can.. I'm feeling so tired, I might just rest.' I said, smiling slightly.  
>'Okay baby.' he said, kissing my cheek gently. I smiled and layed on the bed, watching him play the game.<br>I closed my eyes and soon drifted into unconsciousness, or as most people like to call it, 'sleep.'


End file.
